It's been a long time since I last updated. There have been a lot of ups and downs. I think, I'm finally in a good place. For now at least. I've finally started training. Which is a huge improvement! Not I'm I only doing this for my health (aka body) but also my mind. I actually think it's fun to train. Who are you? And what have you done with Tine, you might ask. I've found a new hobby, Yeay! I still have some trouble with dragging my self to the gym but I think it's fun when I'm there. Still have to work on improving on going to the gym because I know I'll feel a lot better afterwards.
I still have lot and lots of school work to complete and I haven't even touched the books yet. I keep putting it off. I shouldn't but I do. The best part of this? I'm so incredible scared... I used to be one of the smartest kids in school, now I'm scraping the bottom because of the extreme pain I'm always in. It's getting harder and harder to remember. Can you believe that I can't finish a book any longer? I used to read a book everyday... With out exaggerating. When I finished 9th grade, everyone in the class got a notebook and the other classmates could write what they thought about you in it. One of my old classmates wrote something similar to this: "I will remember you as the girl who were always reading a book"
It's extremely surprising how life works out for some.
Sometimes I just want to sit down and cry because my life isn't what I expected it to be. It's no where near what I want from life or what I've hopped to archive. I'm trying my hardest to stay positive but I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. It's actually kind of pathetic of me to feel this way because I'm in a such good place right now but I always feel like I'm such a failure because of school.
I am working on feeling more positive. I finally took the step to contact a school that has the program I want to read and I'm hoping (and prying) that I will like it there and that I will be able to take the course.
I just had to write down my feelings and get them off my shoulders. I do feel a tiny bit better now. 👍